I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Shame - the story of my life.
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