I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My vagina is officially offended.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
