Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
