I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
