Only a mothe r could love this liver
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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