Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
