Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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