He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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