my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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