you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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