Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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