He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
