I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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