dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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