idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My balls are so social today.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
