Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
