I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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