I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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