How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
