he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
