So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
