when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
