He uses pillows to masturbate.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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