and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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