And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
