i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
