is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
