her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
