If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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