Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.

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(937): View more from Ohio

They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk

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(713): View more from Texas

I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.

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(480): View more from Arizona

This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say

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(317): View more from Indiana

We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.

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