hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
