Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
