i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
