She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
