Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
