and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
