I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize