I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
