i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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