i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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