ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
