Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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