Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
