Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
