this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
