i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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