Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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