I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
