Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
