I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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