You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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